Bylaws of the Church of the Magic Chicken Bones
Article I: The Divine Pecking Order
Our sacred mission? To turn crypto into gold. We’re here to profit, pray, and pluck the feathers of misfortune.
Article II: Membership in the Coop
- Eligibility: You must have at least one meme coin and a deep-seated belief that the magic chicken bones can predict market trends.
- Admission: You must swear on a block of Chicken Nuggets to use your crypto gains for good, or at least not for evil.
- Rights and Responsibilities: You may freely participate in our sacred readings from the holy blockchain, and share in the mystical revelations of the Magic Chicken Bones. But if you sell at the bottom, you’ll be shunned to the “Roost of Shame.”
Article III: Governance by the Council of feathers
- The Council of the Feathers : Elected by the Prophet Red Barron, the Reader of the Chicken Bones. Council members must maintain the lie that they’ve never sold during a dip or risk the flocks disrespect and mocking
- Decisions: Voted on by pecking order—————————–
Article IV: Chickenomics
- Tithing: ——
- Investment Ethics: No scams, unless it’s to scam the scammers. And always remember, if you can’t explain your investment to a chicken, it’s probably too complicated.
- Transparency: All finances are recorded on the sacred blockchain.
Article V: Rituals and Practices
- The Blessing of the Ledger: nightly rituals where we throw or dry powder gathered from beer can recycling and garage sales at a giant screen displaying our portfolio, and pray for a ‘green candle’ miracle.
- The Feast of the Bull: An annual event where we either celebrate gains or mourn losses by eating chicken wings shaped like crypto logos. No forks allowed; you must peck your food.
- Meditation on the Chart: Daily attempt to achieve inner peace by staring at price charts until you hallucinate that the lines are forming the word “profit.”
Article VI: Education and Outreach (or Eggucation)
- Learning Sessions: Where we teach you how to not lose your life savings on crypto, or at least how to lose it with style.
- Community Service: Projects include building the world’s first chicken-powered blockchain node or teaching local chickens to cluck “HODL” for charity.
Article VII: Amendments
We make this stuff up as we go along so check back often.
Article VIII: The Great Cluckening
If the church ever dissolves (may the crypto gods forbid), all assets go to creating a chicken sanctuary where every bird gets its own blockchain address.
May your investments be as fruitful as a hen in spring, and may your laughter be as infectious as a crypto meme. peace and feathers be upon you, believers!